Tonight, Tonight
by Dark Peppermint
Summary: An angel named Aeris comes to help Heero find his way to love...But he cannot even speak of it to the one he loves. Love polytangle. Shounen ai, implied suicidal thoughts, kinda cliffie end... songfic...I guess.
1. Crucify the Insincere

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam. I don't own the characters. I don't own my own house. All I own is the plot of this story, Aeris the Angel of D, and a couple of sketchbooks, okay? Just don't sue me. Please.  
  
Warnings/Notes: Shounen ai. Implied suicidal thoughts. Sometimes the charas might be a bit OOC. This chapter is the result of the next. You see the next chapter is actually just a scene that I had to type because it was stuck in my head, and I liked it so much, I wrote a story to go with it! Oh yeah, it may seem like a huge block, but that's ff.net's fault! I had it all nice and spaced out in even little paragraphs.  
  
  
  
Heero awoke to the sound of loud, obnoxious singing followed by a loud thunk. Duo had been running down the hall in his socks, tried to stop, then skidded into a wall. The Japanese boy produced a small smile, shook his head and muttered, "Adorable baka." He froze. "Adorable?" he thought. "Since when is he adorable? He's annoying, obnoxious, girly, charming, incredibly sexy.. crap." Heero smacked himself in the forehead a little too hard. "Dammit!" he yelled. Breakfast seemed like a good option at that point.  
  
Quatre hummed happily as he cooked. The smell of scrambled eggs and chorizo was very enticing to those that hadn't eaten yet. He tossed a couple of tortillas into a nearby pan, sizzling already with butter. Wufei was out already, he was spending the day alone, Duo was recovering from his crash earlier that morning, and Heero was just getting up. Of course, his hair was mussed and in all of his confusion, the poor boy hadn't even put any clothes on! Not to worry, he was wearing his black satin boxers.. *ahem*  
  
"Good morning, beautiful." chirped Duo when the sleepy boy stumbled blindly into the kitchen. Heero blushed, much to his dismay. Only Trowa noticed, but he didn't say anything.  
  
"Omae o korosu" he managed to grumble before dropping into a seat at the table. He was secretly glad to be sitting next to the gallingly cheerful pilot, but he wasn't about to let anyone know that things were different than usual. The poor chorizo-and-egg breakfast burrito was viciously stabbed several times before the cranky boy was satisfied to eat it. Duo stared at him.  
  
"Geeze, Heero. It's already dead, you don't have to kill it again." he pointed out. Heero. Surprisingly, he did not glare at him like everyone had been expecting. Rather, he shifted in his seat, sighed, shifted some more, then decided he wasn't hungry and went back to his room. In his room, he pummeled his mattress mercilessly with his own face.  
  
After his frustration was worked out, he sat on the mussed bed. "Why me? Why him?!" he thought out loud, uncharacteristically. He continued to talk to himself quietly. " I mean, I never liked him much before. He's so.. immature. But then why do I love him?!" Heero looked startled that the words had slipped out of his mouth so easily. "I.love him? I love him. I love Duo Maxwell." he smiled triumphantly. Now he just had to figure out how and when to tell him. Concluding that he should wait another day or so to make sure it was really love, Heero settled back into bed, listening to "Tonight, Tonight" by The Smashing Pumpkins.  
  
Nearly three months later, Heero was certain he loved Duo, and was about to tell him.. if only he could find him. Lately he had gone missing a lot lately, but so had Trowa and Wufei, and although Quatre was around, he was always cleaning and cooking and reading and stuff. Maybe they were on secret missions that no one told him or Quatre about. Nah.  
  
Finally, Heero reached Duo's room, the least likely place he'd be. Not one to knock, he stood at the door and stated, "I'm coming in, Duo." and walked in. He stopped in his tracks as what was happening hit him. Duo lay straddled by a shirtless Wufei, kissing passionately while Trowa lay sleeping with satisfaction next to the two. Wufei jerked away and looked over at the intruder. Duo protested, but then looked over to see the stunned Heero standing in the doorway, a look of hurt and rejection crossing his face. Before anyone could say anything, Heero turned and retreated to his room. Heero slammed his door shut and locked it, then flopped down on his bed.  
  
Blank buzzing filled his head. He couldn't think, he could hardly see, as his vision grew blurred with tears. Trying desperately to stop the tears, Heero did the only thing he could think of to stop crying. He got angry. Angry at Wufei and Trowa for claiming his precious Duo, angry at Duo for not waiting for him, angry with himself for thinking he could have such a perfect, beautiful creature, and even angry with Quatre for being so... so... passive.  
  
Of course, he realized that really it was his own fault. How could anybody have known? He had kept it a secret for so long. But weren't Quatre and Trowa together? If they were, Quatre would be highly disconcerted. Maybe he should let it slip. No, that would be weak. If only he had told Duo right away. If only he weren't so foolish as to think Duo would love him, of all people.  
  
If only.. If only.  
  
Heero lapsed back into tears, buried his face in the pillow, and cried himself to sleep. Heero stood in the middle of a forest clearing. The sun shone so bright it hurt his eyes, but it was warm. There were so many pretty plants and cute animals. It was highly annoying. Suddenly, the earth beneath his feet seemed to tip, dumping him into a place unlike anything he'd ever seen before. It was all twilight blue and cloudy. Not like mist or fog, but like you were standing in the middle of the sky on an overcast day (except blue, not grey) and just beyond a funny lavender patch of cloud, there was a break in the fluffiness, revealing the deep midnight sky, full of twinkling stars. Everything was so soothing.  
  
Something knocked him on the back of the head. When Heero turned around, nothing was there. Melodious laughter filled the air, echoing throughout. He whirled about when pop! she appeared. She was about an inch taller than Heero, with long golden hair, pretty blue eyes, and a fairly short toga- like dress. She also wore roman style sandals and had tiny luminescent white wings barely protruding from her back.  
  
"Oi! Me name's Aeris. What be yours?" she grinned warmly. Her out of the ordinary manner of speech and slightly thick accent was endearing, especially with the cute, lopsided smile that caused a dimple in only one cheek. He glared at her. "Well, no matter. I know your name be Heero. Thought I might ask, though an inhospitable sort you seem to be. Let me cut to the chase. I'm an angel. They call me the angel of D. Most of the others don't like to use me real title, I dunno why." her tiny wings fluttered about as she spoke. "Now, d'you know what this 'D' might be standin' for, Heero?" she asked. His eyes widened slightly.  
  
"Death?" he said in an undertone. It was more of a statement, but he thought it better to inquire than declare. "Indeed, you be correct, darlin,' and d'you know why the angel of D visits people?" she questioned with an air of speaking to a small child. Heero nodded, but did not speak. "Well, then, I think you be worryin' too much, b'cause 'D' also stands for dreams, destiny, deceit and destruction. I be here b'cause a big fat knot has tangled your destiny's thread. Now, I have to untangle it, and this requires all of my titles, all of my skills. None of this was supposed to happen, you see. You weren't even supposed to fall in love with that 'un. Nay, summat good be comin' your way, but I have to see to it that you be in the right place when it gets to you. All right then, Heero? Don't worry your pretty little head; I haven't the time to waste." she tilted her head, waved her hand, and with a silvery twinkle, she was gone.  
  
Heero woke suddenly. His brow was furrowed in contemplation of his dream, and what it could mean, when the evening's events came crashing down on him. He sat up and growled ferociously at his pillow, hoping to scare it. But the floppy white thing just sat there, looking glum and dull as always.  
  
  
  
Sighing, the boy collapsed back down on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling with arms stretched out to either side and his long legs crossed. He looked crucified with his glassy eyes and unusual, limp position. Remaining in that position for well over half a day, he noticed his eyes were getting mildly uncomfortable, having not blinked in all that time, and wondered if the other pilots had noticed he wasn't up yet.  
  
Well, speaking of the devil, Quatre knocked on the door. "Heero? Heero, are you in there? Are you okay? I'm coming in." And indeed he came into the room. The blonde boy rushed to his bedside. "Oh my! Heero! Heero!" he shook the unresponsive boy's body. "Come on, Heero!" his eyes filled with tears. Shaking him gently now, he grew nervous and panicky, reaching a conclusion. "You can't be.you can't. I won't let you be dead, I can't. I love you." His voice cracked as tears splashed onto Heero's face.  
  
Of course, he had to forget to check the other boy's pulse. Silly Quatre. Rising to his feet slowly, he pressed a soft, chaste kiss against the still face. Heero speculated whether or not to do anything. He decided not to. When Quatre's footsteps receded, Heero blinked a few times. "He loves me? How? Why!?" he thought in frustration. Then he heard a familiar giggle floating through the air. Aeris's head popped out of the ceiling, upside down, her hair reached almost to the bed.  
  
Heero let out an abnormally girlish yelp before leaping out of bed to close and lock the door.  
  
"What the hell?!" he shouted. She grinned roguishly and fell out of the ceiling, landed hard on her butt, then stood, brushed herself off, and held up two fingers in a 'V' shape.  
  
"I'm ok!" she announced proudly.  
  
"Ooh, I care so much," said a distinctly ruffled Heero sarcastically. "I thought you were a dream. Am I asleep? Maybe I'm hallucinating." he ran a hand through his hair. Aeris smiled once again.  
  
"No darlin', I'm as real as can be. I told you I would help to untangle your destiny's thread and make sure that something good would hit you just right, didn't I? Well, here I am." Heero looked as though he might faint if he weren't so..Heero.  
  
"Hn." he said. Aeris grabbed him by the hand and dragged him into the kitchen for dinner. "This means war." he thought, glaring even harder. Just before they reached the door to the dining area, Aeris let go of him and shoved him forward. It would look suspicious if an invisible force was dragging him. The pilots, dressed in black and silent, looked up swiftly. Quatre and Duo leapt up.  
  
"Heero!" was the collective cry of joy. The happiness soon turned into suspicion and mild anger. "Wha..I thought you were..you.." Quatre trailed off, confused.  
  
Heero was so bewildered himself he could say nothing but "Angel..Death..I don't know. Food!" And so they ate. Duo and the blonde Arabian chatted quietly while the others remained silent as they were before. Aeris was poking Heero in the arm repeatedly, and he was not amused. Finally, he could no longer take it.  
  
"Stop it!" he snapped, swatting at her hand (which retreated rapidly back to her side). Everyone stared.  
  
"Are you feeling okay, Heero?" Quatre looked deeply concerned. Heero nodded, then continued to eat.  
  
"Quatre looooves youuu. Ooooh!" whispered Aeris in a singsong voice. "But you loooove Duoooo. Ooooh! Heero lo-oves Du-o. Heero lo-oves Du-o. Nonny nonny nonny!" she resumed the poking of the arm. Once again, Heero became fed up.  
  
"Shut up! I do not need to hear it from you!" he barked angrily, slapping her hand away for a second time. She pouted, but then smirked deviously when the pilots stared once more. Heero reallocated himself in his seat but then decided he would rather have a little 'chat' with Aeris, so he quickly left the table, a very mischievous angel in tow.  
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing?!" the Japanese youth shouted as soon as they got into his room, the door shut and locked. "They probably think I'm going insane or something, and it's your fault. You're supposed to be helping me, remember? Isn't that what you're here for? Or is it to screw up my life even worse than it is? You don't know what it's like to be me! You don't know how I feel; just because I've been trained not to..Just because I've killed so many without visible emotion doesn't mean I don't feel! You have no idea what it's like! You just go along, naive and happy, not a care in the world. You have never had a hardship, you have never been in love, much less with someone who could never be yours!!!"  
  
Slap.  
  
He had gone too far. Aeris gazed down upon him, breathing hard through her nose. "Don't assume my past because of my present state. Remember, I am the angel of death. I have taken the lives of men, women, even children and infants. Not only that, but I am the angel of destruction. Do not think that I only destroy other people's lives. I destroy my own as well, even if it means losing the ones that I love. Even if it means losing myself." her face had become tinged pink, and her eyes gleamed with unshed tears. Heero fixed his eyes on her, realizing what it must be like to have eternal life, every day remembering everything she's destroyed, every life she's had to eradicate. So many more innocents than he could imagine. The floor suddenly interested him very much.  
  
"I'm sorry." he murmured.  
  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
  
Removing his ear from the door, Duo shook his head and sighed. Quatre and even Trowa looked at him expectantly. Wufei listened and heeded the distress, but tried to appear unconcerned. "He's stark raving mad. From the sound of it, he was raving about how someone doesn't know what it's like to have the killed so many, and they didn't know how it felt to love someone who could never be with him, then slapped himself and there was a pause, like he was listening, then he mumbled that he was sorry. Like I said, a lunatic. He's gone insane." he finished sadly.  
  
Quatre's eyes brimmed with tears, and the gentle boy rushed back to his room. Wufei suddenly looked at Duo and Trowa. "He loves someone. I knew it!" he said. Trowa spoke up.  
  
"Who?" he asked.  
  
"Well, let us deduce the possibilities. It's probably not Quatre, because they're hardly around each other. Most likely it's one of us. Didn't you see the look on his face when he walked in on us? He looked almost like a kicked puppy. Now, Trowa, I don't know if you noticed, and Duo, you're not likely to have either, but I see him looking at me all the time, but as soon as I make eye contact, he looks away. However, I don't think it's me. You see, he looks at you, Trowa, like that as well, so I think it's reasonable to assume he's jealous because he's in love with Duo." The Chinese boy concluded, letting it sink in. Duo abruptly fainted.  
  
  
  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
  
  
  
"Are you sure twisting things like this will work?" asked Heero. He and Aeris had been planning a way to catch love in a cunning trap. She nodded.  
  
"As soon as they hear you talking about it with me, they'll follow you right after you leave, so be prepared to go fast, and don't let them apprehend you. Most likely they'll try to grab you away before you do it, so just follow my lead once you arrive. In the worst case, they'll get you before you even leave, in the best case, they'll get tripped up and arrive just in time to see your departure." Her tricky smirk was contagious as they headed into the sitting room. First they made sure nobody was there, and then they sat on the couch.  
  
"Is that the only way he'll get it?" said Heero in a stage whisper. "But it'll hurt him more than I can stand." Quatre crept down the stairs, followed closely by a certain braided American. They stopped, hearing Heero's voice in the room, whispering loudly. The blonde held up a hand to tell Duo not to interrupt.  
  
"I know the others deserve it, but what about him? He didn't know, I know he never found out, but still..it seems selfish to do that for my own relief. It's forever you know. Can't take it back. Ironic, isn't it? Behind Shinigami's own back." a bitter, pain laced laugh crashed through the air to the two eavesdropper's ears. "I can write him a note. But what about Quatre? He said he loves me, but how can that be? And besides, he's so sensitive, losing me might send him following." a pause. "You're right I mean, it's his fault for not realizing it. The idiot doesn't know what he's done. It's his fault he drove me to it. And Quatre? It's not my problem he's in love. He can just join the others' little threesome..Yeah; I suppose I should do it now. I think they're all asleep. Should I bring my gun in case the impact doesn't work? Well, I just thought maybe.. All right, okay. Let me write a note first." Heero walked swiftly into the kitchen and pulled a small notepad out of the drawer.  
  
He hastily scribbled two notes: one to the boy he loved, another to the one that loved him. Duo's said:  
  
  
  
"Duo. This is it. I hope you know how much pain you caused me, that I've been driven to this. I love you so much, but you know I cannot stay. Goodbye. From Heero." Short and simple.  
  
  
  
Quatre's was a little different.  
  
  
  
"Quatre, please forgive me. I am so sorry to hurt you like this. Please don't be angry. I want you to know that I would have given you a chance had it not been for my sudden discovery about Duo. I still would, but now I can't. It's too late for me. Please don't follow. Love, Heero."  
  
  
  
It was much kinder than the note to Duo, but it did not matter. Both of the short notes were handed to Aeris to be pinned to the boys' doors. Now it was time to leave. They stole out of a window quietly, headed towards the forest. Duo and Quatre hurried to their rooms to get jackets, but their notes distracted them. Both were severely distressed by their respective message, and proceeded to sprint out of the door in pursuit of the distraught Japanese teen.  
  
  
  
So there! The best part's next, but tell me what you thought of this one first, okay? Oh.I know it's not written too well..and Wufei's deduction was a little too easy.but Wufei was a scholar, remember? Anyhoo, I thought of the next chapter before this, so I know it's not especially logical. Luvs to reviewers! 


	2. Tonight, Tonight

She grasped Heero's hand tightly, smiling at him reassuringly as her long, golden hair fanned out behind her, blowing in an undetected wind. He bent his knees slightly, ready to spring forward just as Duo and Wufei burst into the clearing. Aeris tugged at Heero's hand before he could turn to look at the pilots. Then, he jumped.  
  
"Heero! No!" Quatre shouted, running to the edge of the cliff. A soul- rending cry was wrenched from his throat as he sank to his knees with tears streaming down his face. His vision was blurred, but Duo saw what Quatre could not.  
  
Aeris spread her wings, a flash of the purest brilliance reflecting off of them. She knew that the pilots would be devastated by the event. Looking over at Heero, she noticed that his eyes were shut tightly, and his jaw was clenched. Small beads of sweat made his face appear silver and glittering in the moonlight.  
  
"Heero. Relax, sleep. It'll be over soon. Believe in me." her voice was soothing, yet it held an infinite sadness. Heero cracked one eye open to notice they were soaring through a surreal nightscape, the clouds and stars seemed to be alive, and the moon shone brightly at him, as though to say goodnight.  
  
"Sing." he said. Aeris bowed her head slightly and opened her mouth. A sweet melody filled the air.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
'Time is never time at all  
  
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth  
  
And our lives are forever changed  
  
We will never be the same  
  
The more you change the less you feel  
  
Believe, believe in me, believe  
  
Believe!  
  
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain  
  
We're not the same, we're different tonight.  
  
Tonight, tonight so bright, tonight  
  
Tonight!  
  
And you know you're never sure  
  
But you're sure you could be right  
  
If you held yourself up to the light  
  
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake  
  
The place where you were born  
  
Believe, believe in me, believe  
  
Believe!  
  
In the resolute urgency of now  
  
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight  
  
  
  
Tonight, tonight so bright, tonight  
  
Tonight!  
  
We'll crucify the insincere tonight (tonight)  
  
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight (tonight)  
  
We'll find a way to offer up the night (tonight)  
  
The indescribable moments of your life (tonight)  
  
The impossible is possible tonight (tonight)  
  
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight.  
  
Tonight, tonight tonight  
  
  
  
Tonight.'  
  
  
  
~"Tonight, Tonight" The Smashing Pumpkins, written and sung by Billy Corgan (Although in this case, Aeris sings)  
  
  
  
  
  
end.  
  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well then. That wasn't so bad, now was it? Whaddaya think, do you want a sequel? If you do, lemme know. Remember, the more reviews I get, the better the sequel (and other stories) will be. *puppy face* Puh-weeze review! And by the way, I recently heard honestly by Zwan, Billy's new band..I was so happy! I laughed, then hyperventilated, then cried, then laughed hysterically. I'm sort of a fan..But you know..Just a little. ;P 


	3. note!

I know it's not really significant enough to warrant a chapter, but I wanted to say that I will be writing a sequel! Right now I'm working on a self-insertion, a pure canon HP (slash, though), a GW/HP, and still Mirabelle. Not to mention my poetry and drawing and painting and viola and acting. So please, be patient. 


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